Work With Me

Get over your ex.
Change unhealthy patterns.
Never ignore red flags again.

Do you ever feel like…

  • you’ve lost yourself in relationships?
  • you give and give, and it’s never reciprocated?
  • you’re always dating men you want to change?
  • you’re always an option and not a priority?
  • you can’t ask for the relationship you want?
  • you’re dating below you and still not being put first?
  • you’re scared to open up again because you’ve gotten hurt?
  • there are no good men left?

You feel like you have no boundaries. You’re always going out of your way for whoever you’re dating. You act like your cool with things you definitely aren’t cool with because you want to be the easy-going girl that everyone likes.

You can’t get over your ex. The long nights alone are so hard. You can’t stop replaying the good times. You play time-travel, wondering what happened and trying to find a logical way you could have made things last. Your friends tell you that you’re better off, but you’re having trouble believing them.

You keep playing out the same unhealthy patterns. Your compass always points to the emotionally unavailable person. You collect exes who need saving or fixing like it’s your job. Somehow, no matter how hard you try, you always end up back where you started: broken hearted.

Red flags are practically invisible to you, at least until everything falls apart in a blazing dumpster fire. It’s not that you don’t see them… you just don’t want to believe them. Just this once, you want it to work. Love should be unconditional, right? No one is perfect. If you accept them as they are, they should love you as you are. The excitement at the beginning made the warning signs seem so small. You always whip out a paintbrush and paint those red flags green. When it ends, the paint has chipped enough for you to remember what color they truly were.

I’ve been there.

Several breakups later, I have done the work to find my own clarity on my patterns and what I want, and boosted my confidence in dating and saying “no”.

I’ve been in the trenches and got all these battle scars so I can help you through gentle, nonjudgmental coaching heal your heart and take you from breakup to glow up!

Ready for your glow up?

Feel free from your past.
Become a clear and empathetic communicator without sacrificing boundaries.
Become aware of old patterns and gain tools to change those patterns.
Develop a proactive mindset, positive self-talk, and belief in your inherent worthiness.
Feel confident in your knowing that the right person won’t come with flashing warning lights, red flags and caution tape.

I want you to get everything you want out of your relationships.

I’ve walked this path before. I don’t see myself as an “expert” (what even is that in relationships?). However, I am experienced in this realm and a trained life coach, inspired and ready to be on your team.

I am here to guide you and to give you hope that it gets better. I’m here to ask you the powerful break-through questions. I’m here to not let you quit on yourself. I’m here for you to grow and glow.

I work one on one with clients, providing an unbiased, supportive container for self inquiry and growth.


Working with Clair was enlightening, positive, and safe. I was a little nervous before we began… Clair quickly set the tone, however, and by the end I felt heard and comfortable.

I have spoken to a lot of psychologists before. For some reason, I was not able to speak to them as candidly as I had hoped. Something about Clair’s personality allows one to feel listened to and heard, and I think that was the catalyst for getting me to open up and allow this process to work.

I was struggling with confusion, and a desire to change but no path forward. I wanted to shift and call into question my views towards myself and other people. I was also really struggling with self worth / self esteem, and it was affecting how I acted.

The biggest shift that happened was reframing the way I think! Speaking aloud some of the thoughts that I consistently have in regards to my own self-worth was very cathartic. I could not have picked a better person to listen, as Clair is kind, unbiased, and forgiving. I admitted and spoke about things I would not generally feel comfortable to do. It’s not always pleasant sharing your darkest thoughts – but by sharing with Clair, I was able to get another perspective. Her analysis and advice was invaluable. I now understand I was being a little hard on myself, so I appreciate her allowing me to air everything out. 


Carol B.

Clair held a safe space where we co-created meaningful goals and actions to help me get out of an unfulfilling and stuck place in my life.  I felt totally seen and validated with her deep listening, powerful questions and constant encouragement.  I was able to take the proverbial shackles off, and make lasting changes that support my heart and soul.  If you are ready to make powerful shifts in your life, Clair is the coach for you!

Katie B.

Clair is a wonderful coach: anyone would be lucky to have her as a guide! When we started, I was at a crossroads of making definite plans: I wanted to control my inability to overthink things and move through a project without time delays. Coaching was a good opportunity to vent to an objective voice and receive constructive feedback and insight.

Think you’re not worth it? You are.

Can’t afford it? Please don’t place yourself under any serious financial strain to work with me, but it’s also great to consider: how much is it going to cost you to continue to be stuck where you are? What’s it worth to find your glow?

Limited financial assistance is available. Please email me to see if we can work out how to get you the coaching you need at a rate you can afford.

Who Benefits Most From Coaching?

Coaching works best if you are ready to move forward. You have future goals you want to strive for. You’re ready to take responsibility for your results, and show up fully in our sessions. Some emotional or mental health issues may be better suited to counseling. If you are considering whether coaching is the right fit for you, reach out! Your wellbeing comes first, so if I am not the right coach for you, I am happy to support you in finding the right fit.

For speaking information and inquiries click here.

Free Resource: Recognizing Relationship Patterns Worksheet

In order to change unhealthy relationship patterns, you must first become aware of them. To do so, you need to slow down and get really honest with yourself.

This free worksheet will help you do this in a neutral, judgment-free, gentle way. 

Clair Lofthouse

Your Heartbreak Glow Up Guide

Do you have questions about coaching or a specific need?

Thousand Oaks, CA 91362

Photo by Jackson David on
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